Monday, December 3, 2007

Albert Roy Samuels - Custodian

My name is Albert Roy Samuels. I came to Hawaii 2 years ago to get away from Arkansas and all the people there. I chose Hawaii because there are no harsh winters, it's secluded from the rest of the states and people don't seem to bug me as much. The perks of being a custodian (not janitor) are that I get to wear the same clothes everyday and don't have to waste my time and money on anything else. I have 3 pairs of this same uniform and that's about it. I am 51 years old even though I look very old for my age. This is good. Sometimes I like to pretend that I can't hear people when they are talking to me. Works every time. I like senior citizen discounts. I like beer and spam. I don't have family anymore because I ran away from home when I was 17. Haven't seen or heard from them since. I don't think they minded all that much. After that, I joined the air force. I liked yelling at people and taking the risks that I had to. I'm not a social person and I don't like people. I don't like much of anything. I like shakespeare. Seems to be the only one who had some sense. I like to switch schools a lot. That way no one can get to know me and I don't have to get to know them so here I am at Maui High School, Home of the Tikis. I like to curse. I have to be quiet at school though and that's a problem. I don't have teeth. That can make life hard sometimes but it's very useful. I can show the kids my bright smile and they'll be running the other way in no time.

Physical Description

Birth date & Age: December 13, 1956 & 51 years old.

Height: 6’1”.

Eye Color: Hazel.

Build: Tall and Slim

Weight: 195 lbs.

Hair Color: White.

Sex/Gender: Male.

Physical adjectives: Old, wrinkly, slightly hunchbacked

Personality Type

Main personality traits: Grumpy, Cold, Bitter, Sarcastic.

Disposition: Same as above.

Self-image: Old, wrinkly, slightly hunchbacked.


Marital Status: N/A.

Children: N/A… No thanks.

Place in Family: Youngest of 5 kids.

Immediate Family Members: 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters.

Relatives: Who knows where?

Personal Data

Education: GED from high school.

Occupation: Custodian not Janitor.

Social Class: Lower class.

Religion: N/A.

Ethnicity: White.

Hobbies: Drinking, Reading, Eating, Sleeping.

Ambitions: Move on to the next one. Can’t stay in the same place for too long, that’s what I always say.

Friends: Who’s got time?


Favorite Color: Grey.

Favorite Food: Spam Hot Dish.

Favorite Beverage: Stale Beer.

Favorite Book: Hamlet.

Favorite Time of Day: Around 10:35pm… Bed time.

Favorite Day of the Week: Sunday. Sleep until 10 am. Eat left over hot dish for breakfast. Down a couple stale beers. Go back to sleep.

Favorite Season: Winter. The more I can cover my face and emotions, the better.

Car: See for yourself.

Favorite Sport: Football.

Favorite Place to Go: To Sleep.

Favorite Animal: Cows are tasty.

Favorite Activity: Drinking.

1 comment:

lawrence said...

Hey Al, its Yancey writing to you about the book banning ordeal. What do you think about it? What do you think the students are gonna do about it. Usually when stuff like this happens, the students go all crazy, make messes, and break stuff. What do you think? Get back to me